This funny convo greeted me several nights ago when I logged on. My friend Kayla has a mega-religious (Catholic, maybe?) roommate. (BTWs, Kayla is the girl that I went on the "date" with that turned out not to be a date. She is pretty BA anyhow).

Kayla
So I just got back in my room
there is a jesus book on my pillow
what the fuck do I do
10:22pmDavis
okay stay calm
is she in there
?
10:23pmKayla
yup, i'm pretending like I haven't seen my bed
10:23pmDavis
fuuuuuuuck
all right
hmmm
well
10:23pmKayla
I KNOW haha
10:23pmDavis
does she go to sleep before you do?
you coudl just stay at your computer all night
10:24pmKayla
usually :( but i'm so tired right now. Its like she KNEW I would be
meh..I'll just move it to her desk and see if she says anything
10:24pmDavis
hahaha
she knew that Jesus would be able to penetrate your armor
yes, I wanted it to be that creepy
why? because JESUS IS A RAPIST
10:24pmKayla
hahahahaha, I knew you would enjoy this
IT ALL MAKES SENSE!
10:25pmDavis
yeah that whole catholic priest thing
that is actually IN the Bible
okay wait so are you moving it?
10:26pmKayla
yup, here goes nothing...
10:26pmDavis
I'm praying for you
10:28pmDavis
well?
are you there?
did they get you??!?!
10:29pmKayla
SUCCESS!
her phone rang right when I got up :D its like Jesus knew
gah
hahaha
10:30pmDavis
well I did pray
maybe he heard my request
10:30pmKayla
b'aww, thats probably what it was
AND NOW I get to listen to her telling her bf about all her prayer experiences from today
10:30pmDavis
omg wow
no sleeps for you
I could come over and hit her with my shovel
I've really been waiting for an excuse to use it on someone
she'll go down in no more than three hits, I promise :)
okay that part was a little fucked up
10:33pmKayla
NO it was fucking hilarious
i loled...and that helped considering I'm going out of my way to be as loud as possible
10:34pmDavis
haha
all right I'll be right down
be sure that she answer the door
because as soon as it opens I'm just going to start swinging
10:35pmKayla
:D
10:35pmDavis
wheee
some government agency probably has a tap on my internt
and they are sending ppl to fuck my terrorist ass up
thank God I haven't mentioned planes yet
oh no
I just did
10:36pmKayla
it was a good idea talking to you about this, I now feel a little less angry
BUT earplugs are in and I'm headed to sleep!
10:36pmDavis
no no, that's not what I want at all
I want you to be angry
let the hate flow through you
10:37pmKayla
alright, I took out an earplug and listened for thirty min...the hate is definitely surging
10:37pmDavis
yes, yes. Good.
now, stand up and crush her!
err....
you HAVE been practicing your Dark side Force powers right?
otherwise this is totally NOT gonna work
Kayla
oh noes!
...I should get on that
but in the meantime, I'm headed to sleep!
10:40pmDavis
all righty
10:40pmKayla
G'night :D thanks for support hahaha
10:40pmDavis
yes
sleep dark, vitriolic dreams
to better unleash your hate
10:40pmKayla
I'll do my best!
10:41pmDavis
Yay?


Also, R:

R
ben franklin can suck my dick
i hate reading him
don't quote that on your blog
4:33pmDavis
so you're a hermaphrodite?
Davis
so you're a hermaphrodite?
4:33pmR
no, vag only
i just like the slang
women don't have any good terminology like that